Marrying Celebrities

I received an email from a survey site for foreigners in Japan that I belong to looking for foreign women in their 20s~30s to rank a group of comedians in terms of who they would want to marry for a segment on a late-night variety show.  The 1,000yen paypal/amazon gift card they were offering was nice, but I would have done something that awesome for free!

The best part about this survey is that it is aiming to "get the unique opinion of foreign women," but everything about it from the concept itself to the wording is so Japanese that no real foreigner to Japan would even be able to answer the question posed legitimately.  Even the types of responses they expect are clearly rooted in Japan's idea of what marriage is supposed to be like and their stereotype of "the foreigner."

So, basically, they were asking me to rank 10 comedians, who are panelists on the program, in order of who I would most like to marry (hah) and give a reason as to why they are desirable/undesirable marriage partners.  They note that the respondent should not base their reasons on "looks, their television personality, or how popular they are, but on their potential for the future and their humanity."  (That itself is ridiculous since the only way to judge the marriage potential of these guys is by watching how they look and act on TV...)
Anyway, after saying that they list several examples of reasons (they believe) a foreign woman may list for both why she would and would not want to marry one of the comedians.

Examples of why someone would be a good marriage candidate:
"Because if I had a child with him, the kid would definitely be cute."
(Um, I thought we weren't supposed to use looks as a reason...)
"His job surpasses the boundaries of just a 'talent'--he is actually a world-class entertainer, which is a fabulous job, so even if we got married, I'm sure I could live happily."
(Okay, number one, no Japanese TV talent is known or will ever be known world-wide, so get over yourself, Yoshimoto Comedy Corp.  And number two, you do realize that in most of the places "foreigners" come from, most modern women are NOT housewives that depend on their husband's job to make them happy, right?...oh wait, no, you don't.)
"I can brag to my friends about how handsome he is."
(Seriously, I thought we WERE NOT supposed use looks as a reason!?  Also, worst reason EVER to get married...)

Examples of why someone would be a bad marriage candidate:
"Because in my home country, they say you shouldn't trust someone who, even though he's a man, is a smooth talker ."
(What?  What country is this person supposed to be from...?  'In Soviet Russia, the woman smooth-talk you!')
"I couldn't introduce this feminine-looking guy to my parents."
(Yeah, Japan, just keep up the 'Japanese have so small penis' thing and I'm sure you'll be able to take over the world eventually.)
"Based on his personal appearance, his fashion sense is doubtful, so I couldn't live with him."
(Why did you say were weren't supposed to use looks as a reason? Was that a typo?)

Anyway, here are the 10 comedians that I had to rank.  See if you can guess who I picked as my top and bottom choices (and remember, don't use looks as a reason!).

The results of the survey will be shown at some point on London Hearts, which is on TV Asahi, Tuesdays at 9pm.  So, if you live in Japan, keep an eye out, though who knows if they will use my comments or not...

Kawasaki Rocky!

I went to Kawasaki again this year on Halloween and this time actually went to see the Rocky Horror Picture show, which I had planned to see last year but didn't.  It was really fun and interesting to see how similar it felt to seeing it in the US, yet how different it was at the same time.

Some differences I noticed:

1.  The Japanese cast that performs Rocky are a lot less creepy than people in the States who do it.
(No offence to US Rocky performers...but I still have nightmares about the time I saw it in Madison and a Tiny Tim look-a-like with a 2-foot long beard wearing nothing but bikini briefs sat his cold, bony ass on my lap and kissed the top of my head *shudder* during the "Don't Dream it, Be it" number.)

I theorize that the reason for this is that they only perform it once a year here.  Perhaps weekly or monthly performances are just too much for a normal person to handle and after a while people start to lose the boundaries between their everyday life and the film world...or maybe it is just that there are so many weirdos in Japan who do much crazier things, people who act out a cult classic in fishnets and a boostie seem tame by comparison...? 

2.  They spent several minutes before the show teaching the audience how to do the Time Warp.
At first I thought it was a waste of time, since it should be pretty easy to pick up during the movie--I mean there is a dance chart and a guy giving instructions and everything--but when the pivotal scene arrived, I realized that I now knew the moves, including all the hand motions, much more thoroughly than ever before, so it was a lot more fun!

They also did a little pre-show Time Warp outside to get people interested; here's a clip:

(However, compared to the street dance performance I caught last year http://sarahheartsjapan.blogspot.com/2009/11/kawasaki-halloween-adventures.html 

this was not very impressive...)

3.  Overall, is seemed much less "dirty."  The last time I saw it in the States at the Uptown in Minneapolis, they added a lot of gratuitous lewdness that really had nothing to do with the film, or as my mom put it, "they took the innocence out of it."  The show in Kawasaki didn't have any random strip-show, or overly heavy use of crude language (don't worry, they still made "the virgins" erotically eat bananas on stage, so it wasn't some Mormon edit of the show or anything.)  It was just about enjoying the film and having fun no matter who you are and what you wear; a more pure style of Rocky Horror similar to what it originally like in the 70s (based on what I have heard anyway).

4.  People brought children.  There were several parents who had never seen the movie before and brought kids with them...I was shocked at first, but then realized that the kids probably didn't have the ability/patience to read the subtitles, so most likely wouldn't pick up on any "adult situations."  Also, there are plenty of magazines and porno theater posters with much more explicit visuals out in the open for kids to see here anyways...   

All in all, it was a great show, and I actually think it is the most fun I've had at a live showing (compared to the three times I have gone in the States before).  Good job Japanese Rocky fans!