New Year’s is one of the most important holidays in Japan
and a time when pretty much every company closes, giving their workers actual
time off. So, it’s no wonder people are in a festive mood this time of year.
Celebrating the end of the old year comes as a precursor to the excitement of
celebrating the New Year. As soon as December hits, people start going to
year-end parties called bounenkai (忘年会), which literally translates to “forget the year
party.” Most people end up going to several bounenkai
as they are put on by companies, social clubs, university classmates, labor
unions, basically any and all organization or friend group one might belong to.
This gives people the chance to see friends and acquaintances from all
compartments of their life one more time before going on vacation/spending the
holidays with family.
This is especially important because they won’t see these people again
until...
January roles around and it’s time for the New Year’s parties, shinnenkai (新年会). So, yes, essentially
these are two solid months of partying.
In a subway station the other day, I found a free magazine called “Enkai Japan” (宴会JAPAN), which
illustrates just how important these parties are. Created by Watami, a restaurant group that includes many izakaya chains and TGI Friday’s in Japan,
and Yoshimoto Kogyo, an
entertainment conglomerate that manufactures comedians. Though it is, at heart,
just a big advertisement for these two groups, the features in this magazine
inadvertently highlight some interesting points about Japanese society.
So, want to party like a Japanese salary man or woman?
Then join Professor Shinya Irie, comedian and self-proclaimed party master at
“Party University” to learn the 31 party rules of partying.
Lesson 1, “Preparation”
1. Figure out who should be the guest of honor at the party.
For example: if you want to
deepen your relationship with the Department Manager, don’t invite the Section Manager, or you’ll have to pay equal attention to both of them and can’t
fulfill your brown-nosing goals.
2. Choose a venue
that’s close to the station.
When choosing a party
location, first consider the guest of honor’s preferences (people in their 50s
like yakiniku, but people in their 20s like places where they can get rowdy).
Next, look for a place close to the station and easy to find and make sure you
can get cell service there.
3. You’ll never be
able to find a date that works for everyone.
Choose the date that
works for most, giving precedence to the guest of honor.
4. Never answer a
question with another question!
This is especially for
the young’uns: When the organizer sends you an email asking what days you’re
available, don’t respond with “Well, who’s coming?” The organizer doesn’t have time
to respond to a bunch of whiny queries from their lowly juniors.
5. Be careful about
your Line group members.
Everyone’s using Line
these days to contact large groups at once, but don’t include your superiors in
the group when you’re hashing out the details. Because they’re too important to
be bothered by that shit.
6. Make a reservation
for the after party.
**After parties, or nijikai, are common because most parties
have a set time limit of 2-3 hours, so people who want to keep going need to
move the party elsewhere. Things might also continue into an after-after party
and after-after-after party.**
Lesson 2, Party Day
7. When the day comes,
don’t forget these important things!
Drink a hangover
preventing drink, get an after party venue, bring coupons, check last train
times. Also be sure to bring chargers for everyone’s electronics (various cell
phones and Nintendo DS, because lots of people are playing Monster Hunter these
days.)
8. Keep your smart
phone on hand.
That way you can use
it to look up someone’s name if you forget!
9. Play the seating
arrangement by ear.
It is an ancient
Japanese custom to have the guest of honor enter first and sit in the best
seat. Nowadays, however, people tend to sit down in the order they arrive and
have different preferences (i.e. in the middle so they can talk to everyone
easily, near the bathroom, etc.), so just go with the flow and don’t worry
about it too much.
10. Collect the money
first!
4,000 yen ($40) per
person is usually enough at the average izakaya, so collect that as people come
in. If there is money left over after the check is paid, you could use it for the after
party, give the change to the lowly young people (because their salaries are so low), or play a game where the
winner gets the whole pot.
*Note: This is a
high-level move that should only be attempted by experienced party masters.
11. Do the opening cheers with beers.
Have everyone get a beer first (or oolong tea for non-drinkers) because
it’s quick and easy. Don’t order a cocktail or something that will take time
right away or you’ll hold everyone’s drinking up.
**It’s a cardinal sin to drink before the official opening toast
of kanpai.**
12. If you don’t drink alcohol, keep your voice down.
If you don’t want to drink, don’t shout your order of oolong tea for
everyone to hear. That will dampen everyone’s mood. Instead, whisper your order
to a staff member.
**Because no one wants to be reminded that they’re drinking too much when they're
drinking too much.**
13. Don’t order too much sashimi!
Most people think they should order enough sashimi for everyone, but if you
do that, there’s bound to be a bunch left over at the end. Just order enough for
several people to start and you can always order more later.
14. Learn when to order more drinks.
It’s hard to figure out when to ask people what they want to drink next.
Some people want to order while they still have a little left; while others
want to order once their current drink is completely empty. You just have to
keep practicing until you get that timing down. Also, try to memorize what
people like to drink so, instead of saying, “What do you want to drink next?”
you can impress them with a, “You like xx, right?”
15. When someone treats, announce it to the whole party.
Sometimes the guest of honor will pay extra, so be sure to let everyone
know. They will of course say, “Oh, you don’t have to announce it,” but they
will undoubtedly be happy that everyone knows how generous (and rich) they are.
16. End the first party before last train time.
This ensures everyone can get home if they want to. If someone absolutely has
to leave early, they shouldn’t announce that they’re leaving. They should sneak
away and send the organizer a message the following day that says, “sorry about
last night.”
17. Don’t forget to check for lost items.
Be sure to look under the seat cushions for misplaced phones and wallets
before leaving the restaurant.
18. The organizer should hold on to everyone’s shoe locker key.
It’s easy to lose these keys, so collect them when everyone comes in (along
with the money) and then go set all the shoes out right before everyone’s ready
to leave. You’re friends and/or coworkers will all be really impressed.
*Only for experienced party masters.
19. Drink the same drink the person you want to ingratiate yourself with is
drinking.
If you want to get in good with someone, ask what they’re drinking and then
copy them.
20. Get everyone talking about the same thing.
It can be hard to make sure everyone is talking when there’s a big group,
but it’s important not to leave anyone out. So, get the whole group together by
playing a game or getting a lowly young person to do something goofy.
21. Play one of these sure-fire games.
Play guessing games using the themes “how much money someone earns,” “who’s
slept with whom,” and “who do you hate.”
22. Don’t hail a cab without asking.
Lowly young people have a tendency to hail cabs for their superiors because
they think they’re helping. But sometimes those superiors were planning to go
home by train but then feel socially pressured to take a taxi instead. Always
ask your superiors how they are planning on getting home first.
23. Get some helpers.
It’s impossible to run an entire party by yourself, so get three or so of
your juniors to help out.
24. Find out what your boss’s plans are.
When you’re drinking with a busy boss, ask what their schedule for the next
day is like, so when they pass out from drinking you can decide whether to wake
them up and put them in a taxi, or let them sleep it off.
Lesson 3, The Day After
25. Don’t send a mass thank you email!
It’s important to send a thank you message on the day after a party, but if
you’re just going to send a mass email, it would be better not to send anything at all. You should write
individual messages to show people that you’re sincere.
26. Send thank you emails at 12:15!
If you send an email early in the morning, you might wake up a sleeping
superior. Sending it in the evening might make people think you forgot about it. So, the best timing is in the middle of lunch, when people will be checking
their phones.
27. Be sure to share pictures!
Send everyone the group pictures. This also gives you the chance to get people’s
email addresses.
Lesson 4, Rare Cases
28. If it’s a tough crowd.
Sometimes all the partiers are around the same age (so there are no lowly
young people to divide up the food onto everyone’s plates and pour drinks). In
that case, just declare that everyone should serve themselves to make things more
relaxed.
29. Drinking with someone important.
Be sure to get their job title right. It took the Department Manager a lot
of hard work to get where he is, so it would be really rude of you to call him
“Section Manager.” If he brings a woman with him to the party, never ask, “Is
this your wife?” Because it’s probably his mistress.
30. When there are more women than men.
Pay attention to the air conditioner and ask the ladies if the temperature
is okay—this’ll make them think you’re a real nice guy. Let them pay slightly
less than the men. Tell them in advance if the restaurant has floor seating (because
ladies wear skirts). Seat a cheerful young guy next to any gloomy old bags.
31. Drinking with a sumo wrestler.
The most important thing to think about is how big the restrooms are.
Japanese style toilets are an absolute no-no and make sure the stalls aren’t
too small. Sitting at a Western style table comes with the risk of a broken
chair, so Japanese style floor seating is best. Make sure to tell the
restaurant how many sumo wrestlers are coming so they won’t run out of beer.
Obviously some of this stuff is meant to be funny, but the core rules themselves
are quite serious. Based on this, let's see what we can glean about Japanese society:
Parties are not a mere
excuse to have fun. They are an obligation (especially when it’s a work
party) and come with strict codes of conduct. There is enormous
social pressure to drink, but don’t worry because getting wasted in front of
your work colleagues is no biggie. If you can master the art of partying,
though, it will help you move up the corporate ladder.
The other articles in Enkai Japan include gems like how to use Feng Shui at
parties to increase your quality of life (wearing white at an izakaya will improve your
luck), how to avoid a hangover (don’t drink too much), introductions of some of
the hot servers you can meet if you visit one of Watami Group’s many
establishments, and comedians in a cooking contest.
The best part of the magazine, though, has to be the two-page spread of an
entertainer named Habu and his “Tights Art,” in which he uses various colors of
nylon tights and body contortions to portray foods and drinks you might find at an izakaya. Shown below in its full glory!
On that note, be sure to follow all the party rules, and have a great end
of 2014 and beginning of 2015!
