The Ridiculousness Just Keeps Coming...

I've said before how much I enjoy Japanese dramas, primarily because they are just so absolutely ridiculous. J-dramas are usually between 11-13 episodes long, so there are several "drama seasons" throughout the year and just when I think it can't get any more ridiculous, a new season starts and another drama comes along that tops all those that came before.

For example, a while ago there was a show about the "social dancing" club at a high school (social dance seems to be pretty much the same as ballroom dance, but less exciting). However, apparently that activity was neither lame nor gay enough for Japanese TV, so they had to come up with something lamer while at the same time gayer. I think the conversation went something like this:

Japanese TV Exec 1: "Well, social dance is pretty lame and we did have that one homosexual character, but they were still dancing in boy/girl pairs, so it just wasn't quite enough."

Japanese TV Exec 2: "I know! How about Men's Rhythmic Gymnastics?"

And so, the show "Tumbling" was born.

Yes, a drama about the type of gymnastics that no one ever watches. Women's rhythmic gymnastics is lame enough, but men's? According to the show, the men's version of rhythmic gymnastics was started in Japan, which doesn't surprise me in the least, but I'm still pretty sure there aren't men's rhythmic gymnastics teams at any real high schools. (Men's synchronized swimming teams, on the other hand...)

So, the show just started last week and it seems to be following the classic Japanese trope in which "a rag-tag group of young people attempt to do X-activity, failing at first, but then over an amazingly short time period, barely longer than an 80's training montage, they pull together, overcome various adversities, and give it their all to succeed in the end."

In addition the sappy, predictable plot line, the show is rife with scenes of supple young men helping each other stretch out their tight hamstrings, polishing their batons, and running around in skin-tight spandex. So, you can see that the show is trying to appeal to a wide audience (Japanese school girls who don't know any better and creepy old men).

The characters are ridiculous as well--the main character, an unnaturally redheaded hooligan who is forced into joining the club to make up missing credits so he can graduate, but then realizes he has finally found an activity challenging enough to keep him interested--is probably the least astonishing. There is the captain of the team, who spends at least a third of the special 2-hour first episode crying because, "rhythmic gymnastics means everything to me," and who, surprisingly, I don't think is the gay one. (I know they are going to have at least one gay guy in there for good measure and my money's on the tiny, adorably effeminate first year who sounds like a girl.) There is also the captain's former teammate from middle school, who is now team captain at a high school famous for their prestigious men's rhythmic gymnastics team. He likes to act bad-ass and talk smack about how lame the other school's team is, apparently forgetting that at the end of the day he's still rolling around on the floor with five other dudes in sparkly unitards.

Based on the first episode, I am satisfied with the level of ridiculousness and am eager to see more (did I mention the supple young men running around in skin-tight spandex?) It should be an entertaining ride...

Bonus question: Which do you think is the effeminate one?

Official site (Japanese only) with preview video: http://www.tbs.co.jp/tumbling/

Happy Birthday Mom!

Today (4/16) is my Mom's birthday! So, I am sending my birthday wishes in the form of a Japanese-style karaoke video:

Why I Hate Hipsters.

I know this blog is supposed to be about my life in Japan, so I usually don't comment on things back home. But when I attended the annual sake festival in Niigata a few weekends ago, I came to the horrible realization that a certain plague that has been infecting the US for the past several years has now spread across the sea to Japan. That's right folks, hipsters have come to the Far East.

This is a sake fest, not a steam-punk convention!!

So now, I feel like I must finally address the issue of why I hate hipsters. I should note that, while the majority of hipsters I see are foreign, there is an increasing number of native Japanese starting down the dark path as well.

First off, they love to steal cool things from other people, and then claim that they invented it--to the extent that the original people who started said trend are now only "wannabees" in their eyes. One major example is skinny jeans. Bands like The Sex Pistols and The Ramones were wearing skinny jeans decades before the term "hipster" was even a twinkle in American Apparel's eye. Skinny jeans are punk, period. I don't have a problem with anyone else wearing them, but don't pretend that you made them cool, hipsters. Same goes for Converse high-tops. Even the V-neck T-shirt for boys, which I highly disapprove of (unless you have some really nice pec-cleavage and NO chest hair), was first worn by fashionable Japanese guys (and it was also the thing that made foreign guys swear that all Japanese men are gay), but now every hipster guy is wearing one.

Some other things hipsters have ruined: Bicycles, Used Clothing, Big Headphones, Old-Timey Facial Hair, etc., etc.

Also, gross miscarriage of "Irony." Life is not an Alanis Morissette song; you can't just decide that anything you want to be ironic is ironic. Fanny Packs aren't ironic, also they are not cool. Wearing a Hitler 'stache and doing the "Heil Hitler" sign is not ironic, not even if you're a Jewish hipster.

But the biggest reason I hate hipsters is because they claim they are "cool" because they are so "original" and "individual," while at the same time dressing exactly the same way, listening to exactly the same music, and having all the same values as their hipster "friends." I'm sorry, but I believe you have confused the word "original" with "carbon copy." I don't care if you like "hipster music" or "hipster fashion"--wear what you want, listen to what you want, do what you want, but don't let anyone else tell you what "what you want" is! That's how I live my life...so I guess that means I am not cool...boo-hoo. (Ironic crying)

Check out the hilarious site "Look at This F**king Hipster" for more F**king hipsters: http://www.latfh.com/

EXTREME Fanfiction

Most people are familiar with "fanfiction"--stories written by fans of a TV show/movie/anime/book/etc. making an "original" story using the pre-existing characters. Well, Japan goes one step further to create "doujinshi" or fan-comics. These fan-drawn books are then bought by other fans of the same anime/video game/real life band/etc. and the "circles" that create these books gain fans of their own ("fanfiction fans"...?) Like most things in Japan, these comics more often than not contain homosexual relationships. (Usually the pairings are complete fantasy, since, for example, in Pokemon, Ash never actually bones James from Team Rocket, but sometimes even "Boy's Love" comics get their own fan re-makes as well...which to me just kinda seems like overkill.)

Anyway, on a mission to procure some of these doujinshi for a friend, I ventured into the underground (literally and figuratively), cave-like used comic shop Mandarake. The store is divided into two main sections: comics for guys, which include normal stuff that you can buy at any bookstore as well as nudie anime ladies, and the "For Ladies" section filled with Boy's Love comics and doujinshi. Almost any copyrighted property you can think of is represented in the fan comic world, and many more that you could never think of, like the one about Bill Gates and Steve Jobs (though I guess copyright infringement isn't a factor there...maybe just slander). Almost as baffling as the aforementioned is that there was an entire book case filled with country doujinshi. I'm not talking about the musical genre here, I mean the comics are about countries--as in political states-- (in human form) being in homosexual relationships with each other. I need to stress here that these are not boys from that country, rather the boys are the countries...

Still confused? Allow me to better explain this completely insane concept with examples from the comic I bought (you didn't really think I wouldn't buy one, did you?) I chose "The World Still Turns Around" an "Axis Powers Fan Book" that has a story about America, England, and Japan.

America

England

Japan

Again, these are not just representatives from those nations, but are the actual nations themselves. This can be illustrated by the history of America and England's relationship as explained by America in flashback :

Ever since America was born, England always treated him like a little brother and America, who looked up to him like a big brother, was always following England around.

See, when America was a toddler, England was in high school...

Eventually, though, America grew bigger than England and started to resent England's constant fussing over him, so he declared himself to be independent from England (whose full name is "United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland," by the way).

See, now America is taller than England.

Ever since then, while they remain good friends and live nearby to each other, they often get into petty arguments.

Sounds like a pretty accurate account of the relationship between the countries... That is of course until you get to the part were America and England do it.

See, the reason America didn't want to be treated like a little brother any more, is because he really wants to do it with England and "you can't do this with your little brother, can you?" (Although I'm betting there are several doujinshi that would present an argument against that statement...)

Unfortunately (?) Japan, who was invited over so he could make sushi for everyone, walked in at that point, so they didn't get any further than the kiss. But, according to the author's afterword, they promise to make it more "scintillating" *ahem* next time, so don't worry, America and England will eventually get it on...

The biggest question I have is: Why is this anyone's fantasy? Do "geography fetishists" exist?

I just hope this never actually happens in real life--wait a minute, maybe that's what earthquakes are?

**UPDATE**

A couple of people informed me that the particular doujinshi I am talking about is in fact based on an Internet anime called "Hetalia," which deals with the interactions of anthropomorphized countries during WWII. It also apparently has an avid fan-base and plenty of male-male "hints" to start with, which explains the popularity of this particular doujinshi...though doesn't really explain why there were so many others about countries not associated with Hetalia...

More Crazy Japanese Flavors

I am totally a sucker for new "limited time only" or "seasonal" flavors for snacks in Japan. I always have to try them and, since nobody does it better or more often than Pringles, I end up eating way too many snack stacks.

Recently, it seems they (Pringles) have been obsessed with tying flavora to famous US locales. For example, the "Las Vegas Spareribs" flavor:

O.K...I don't know if Vegas is really famous for ribs--"Stale-Booze Hooker Breath and Bitter, Bitter Tears" flavor sounds more fitting to me-- but I suppose you can eat ribs at some of the many fine buffet establishments, so I'll give this one a pass.

But then there's "Grand Canyon French Fries" flavor:

Wow...the traditional food of Grand Canyon Cowboys. It doesn't really make much sense, but they are basically ketchup flavored and are actually really tasty.

Finally, if you want something to wash down all those salty chips, look no further than the new, "Chocolate Sparkling:"

Finally! There is now a chocolate flavored sparkling water! It tastes like someone infused each H2O molecule with Hershey's syrup and it is delicious!

Making Science More Interesting

I always thought science was pretty interesting when I was a kid, but Japan has come up with a way to make young people even more interested in science: Portraying famous historical scientists as sexy young men (and the occasional woman) with the "Visual Scientists" encyclopedia.


Written and edited by the "International Sexy Science Study Group" this book aims to introduce science and those scientists who have made major impacts throughout history in a way that will get young people excited about learning. In addition to short bios on major scientists, several different fields of science are represented with "cute figures." For example (left to right) Classical Mechanics, Botany, and Electromagnetism.

This pull-out seems to be of two young men performing a "Chemistry" experiment...

Most well-known scientists are represented, including:

Isaac Newton

Albert Einstein

Ben Franklin

In addition to mentioning many other scientists, there is a section examining famous fictional scientists, like Emmett Brown--"Doc" from "Back to the Future," Victor Frankenstein, and Yoda. There is also a section about modern-day scientists who are doing great things in our time, the majority of who, surprisingly, are Japanese, including Kodo Okuyama--the man who "liberated the Japanese people from eyeglasses." (No, he did not invent lasic eye surgery, he studied it in the former Soviet Union and was the first to perform it in Japan...Meanwhile, there is no mention of the actual inventor of the surgery, but obviously he isn't as important as the Japanese guy who copied him.)

All in all, this "encyclopedia" contains just enough information to give one the gist of who each scientist is without boring one with too many pesky dates or details and provides enough eye-candy to keep a young person's attention span long enough to finish reading it. I give it an A+ for ingenuity. Other offerings by the same publisher include:

"Element Girls"--to help you memorize the periodic table

And "Astro Girls"--to teach the basics of Astronomy

Kawasaki Halloween Adventures

So, I ended up not staying for Rocky Horror Picture Show, but I did go to the Halloween parade in Kawasaki on the 31st. I got there right before it started, so couldn't get a really good spot, but was able to take some video:

As you can see, there were three floats in the parade.

Float 1 started the parade and carried the special guests, the comedy duo "Maeda Maeda." They are elementary school aged brothers who, while not really that funny, are absolutely adorable. Float 1 = Cutest Float

Float 2 was really awesome because of all the spooky arms sticking out of it and because the DJ was spinning "Thriller." Float 2 = Most Appropriate for Halloween Float

Float 3 was pretty ridiculous because it consisted of the not-creatively costumed skanky belly dancers and skanky angel dancing to "Barbie Girl." Float 3 = Most Appropriate for Japanese Halloween Float

The others in the parade are just normal people who signed up to participate. A lot of them had some really great costumes (many of which not pictured here since I only got 1/3 of them), but there were still quite a few store-bought witch costumes and the like. But, that's what you get with non-juried parade selection, I guess.

Right before leaving, we stumbled across a street performer, who seemed to have absolutely nothing to do with Halloween. I couldn't tell if he was kinda creepy, or really awesome...probably a combination of both...you be the judge. (Commentary courtesy me and my friend Errol)