Guerilla Manzai: Performing at the Police Box

In Japan there are koban, or "police boxes" scattered throughout every district. I call them "direction boxes" because pretty much the only thing the police officers stationed there do is give directions to people. In fact, a lot of times if you go to a police box in a quiet area, there may not actually be anyone there...or there may be a police officer sleeping inside.

A couple of weekends ago, Erin and I walked to Shibuya after we pulled our first "free hugs...?" gag (see previous post). We decided that we didn't want to go home yet, so we wanted to go somewhere warm where we could do some people watching. I suggested Mister Donuts, because not only could we drink coffee and eat delicious donuts, but they usually have a nice big window looking out on the street that is perfect for watching passersby. Unfortunately, we didn't know where or even if there was one in Shibuya, so Erin "dared" me to ask at the koban. It wasn't much of a dare, because I have asked directions to much crazier things than that before, so of course I accepted.

When we got to the nearest direction box, there were two officers standing outside--a big one, and a little one. So, I asked the big one if there was a Mister Donuts nearby. He said there wasn't one in Shibuya, but there was an "And On And" which is owned by Mister Donuts but is a "high-end donut cafe," which means the donuts are super fancey (like their green tea ginger donut filled with red bean paste that runs about 300yen) and the atmosphere is more sophisticated. Yes, a sophisticated donut shop...of course it can only be found in Japan...(to the best of my knowledge). So, he gave us very detailed directions while indicating where to go on a map, while the whole time the little cop was nodding and gesturing randomly at the same map...he must have been in training with big cop to learn how to give directions. Anyway, once he finished the directions he told me my Japanese was very good, then asked where we were from. Seeing the perfect opportunity to perform a little guerilla manzai, I told him I was from a "foreign country." (Since our act is called "Gaijin Dantai" or "Group of Foreigners," if anyone asks us where we are from we only say we are from "gaikoku" or "foreign country," so they just get really confused and keep asking the question in different ways, thinking we don't understand what they are asking.)

So, the conversation went something like this:
Big Cop: Your Japanese is very good, where are you from?
Me: Foreign Country.
Big Cop: Yeah, but which country?
Me: A country overseas.
Big Cop: No, but, which one specifically?
Me: The one that is abroad.
Little Cop: (in English) Where you from?
Erin: (in English) Foreign country.
*Big Cop and Little Cop look at eachother*
Big Cop: (to Little Cop) Uh, that means "foreign country," right?
Little Cop: Oh, I see, you don't want to tell us?
Me: (*oh shit! now he is gonna think we are terrorists or something!) Ah, actually the two of us perform manzai, and that is part of our act...we're called "Gaijin Dantai."
Big and Little Cops: Wow, that's cool!

We then talk with them a little longer about our act, thank them for the directions, and go on our way...without ever telling them where we are actually from.

So,
1. As Erin put it, "we totally asked the popo where to get donuts"
and
2. We deffinately gave them legitimate reason to ask to see our registration papers and/or detain us for questioning by refusing to say where we are from, but they just thought it was funny.

So, thanks nice Shibuya police officers with a sense of humor...I will deffinately use your direction box again next time I need to find a store or restaurant.

Sarah Takes Forever to Update Her Blog

Finally, a new post! I could say it is because I have been so busy that I haven't had any time to make updates at all, which is partially true...but mainly I am just lazy.

Recently I have been doing a lot of manzai (Japanese comedy) with my friend Erin in our duo called "Gaijin Dantai" ('group of foreigners'). So far we have performed at Design Festa--a independent art festival--where we drew big crowds for all of our 5 shows throughout the day. Then, we performed at the Keio University school festival. Keio is where both Erin and I studied abroad in the past and we were invited because some of my friends from the punk rock club I joined while I was there were doing a "movie cafe" and needed performances, so they asked us to do it. It was super fun and was nice to perform for friends and other people around our same age. For more info (in Japanese) as well as a bunch of pictures from these performances, please visit Gaijin Dantai's official blog: http://gaijindantai.blogspot.com/
We also have a group on FaceBook called "Gaijin Dantai Fan Club" which has information in English and a ton more pictures.

What has been even more fun than our recent performances, though, has been our "Guerilla Manzai." Over the past couple of weeks, we have been taking our show on the road...by which I mean we have been randomly doing comedy stuff while we are out shopping/hanging out around Tokyo.

First, have you heard of people holding "Free Hugs" signs in busy cities all over the world? Well, they do it in Tokyo too, so we came up with a great bit using those people (don't you dare steal our idea either!) I go up to someone holding the "Free Hugs" sign and say "Wow, free hugs? Yaaaaaaaay!" and hug them. Then, I reach into my pocket and pull out my sign, which reads, "Hugs 500¥" Yeah, awesome, I know. So far we haven't gotten any money...but I was able to haggle the price of a shirt at the Yoyogi flea market down from 200 yen to 100 yen plus a hug. (I think the guy selling the shirt got the better deal) If you want to see me in action, watch the low-quality video that Erin took with her camera and put up on Youtube:

I have to go now, because Erin and I are performing for the Canadian Ambassador tonight, but stay tuned for more tales of Guerilla Manzai...next time: Sarah tries to get deported by refusing to tell police what country she is from.

Random Funny Stuff

I have had several interesting encounters lately...

So, I went to Harajuku last Saturday. I was really excited, because Harajuku is deffinately one of my favorite places in Japan...if you have been there or seen pictures and know how much I love people watching, goth, punk, and shopping, then you understand why. Even though I didn't buy anything other than a few things from the 100yen shop, I had a great time. But...I saw some members of a visual kei indie band handing out flyers and CDs, so of course I wanted one. There were two guys-- one was talking to a couple of girls and giving them CDs, and the other was dressed in a bunny suit and holding the flyers. So, I went up to bunny guy and asked (in Japanese) if I could have a flyer...he said yes as he was turning to look at me and started to hand out to me, but stopped short when he saw that I was a foreigner...then as I tried to take the flyer, he kept holding it and I had to yank it out of his hands! So, yeah, FYI: when you are a band that no one has ever heard of and most Japanese people would never think of listening to or going to see, and someone actually shows interest and ASKS you for a flyer...you better give them one! I mean, WTF? So, I didn't get a CD, but I do have a flyer/poster:

OK, so, there first problem is that their name is "Mega Mega Heart." Also, just so you know guys...visual kei bands are supposed to be good looking and wear awesome costumes...You guys have the fattest, ugliest guy dressed as a girl? And, what is with the plastic, green eyelashes, dude? (that was the guy that I took the flyer from) Oh, and the guy with orange hair is totally wearing a tube top...under a vest...

OK, so on the reverse side, each member is "posing" with one syllable from the word "arigatou" ('thank you') with a montage of live pictures in the background. So, we have:

1. Blond Guy giving birth to the 'a'


2. Fat Guy dressed as chick trying to look cute, but really just looking frightened with 'ri'


3. Host-looking Guy doing God-knows-what kind of pose, shoeless, with 'ga'


4. Orange-hair Guy wearing tube-top and vest, in some sort of cat/Japanese ghost pose with 'to'


5. And, Hideous Green Eyelash Guy doing...????...while looking off camera, oh, and he is also wearing yellow crocs and a furry green tube-top under a pleather yellow vest, with 'u'

So what have we learned? Basically, if you aren't willing to even give me a flyer, not only am I not going to your show, but I am going to make fun of you mercilessly. Also, I think this poster is amazing...I just can't believe how lame they are, while they are thinking they are super hot. I totally have this hanging on my wall right now. It makes me smile everytime I look at it.

OK...funny episode #2: Today in one of my classes, when I asked a 10 year old boy, "What do you like to eat?" he pointed at me and said, "Sarah!" ....um, I guess I can understand why you would say that...I mean, I am pretty awesome...but, sorry kid, it is never gonna happen--you are only 10 years old, and I'm not really into younger guys.

Also, I finally took a picture of a Lotteria sign:

Home of the "straight burger," in case you are tired of all those gay burgers you have been eating lately...

That's all for now!

Canadian Embassy Halloween Bash

Friday the 26th was the Canadian Embassy's Halloween party! I love the fact that since I have friends that live/work there, I have been to the Canadian Embassy countless times, but have yet to even find where the American one is...Although I'm sure our friendly neighbors to the north would help me out if I got into any sort of trouble, haha.


Anyway...It was a very interesting mix of party-goers, comprised mainly of Candians who work at the embassy, and Japanese women dressed as sexy-cats, sexy-witches, or sexy-devils looking to hook a rich Canadian ambassador or something. There was also live music by the embassy's own Beatles cover band, the "Boobie Brothers" (yay for old Japanese men singing Beatles songs!)

My room-mate and my friend Toshi also came with me so they could experience what a "North American Halloween Party" is like, or at least what a Halloween party would be like if it included the Japanese Beatles and 100 Japanese women in lame cat/witch/devil costumes.

I, by the way, dressed as a host...yes, now that I actually own a suit, the costume I have been wanting to do since my freshman year of college has finally been realized!

I was quite proud of how hosty I was able to make my hair (tons of nasty guy hair gel for hold, pomade for the greasy look, and "super hard" hairspray to keep it in place). I was also proud of how well I strapped my boobs down...it totally looked like I had pecs, and I could unbutton down to the third button, just like a real host!

I was so convincing, I kept getting stared at by the drunk cat/witch/devil chicks and I'm pretty sure they thought I was just some host who came to the party. Which, when you think about it doesn't make sense since it was a Halloween party, any host who came still dressed as a host would be a pretty lame host...but I guess they also think costume= skanky top and shorts and some cat ears.

My room-mate was also really impressed by how I managed to flatten my chest...she had a good time feeling me up, and saying "wow, so hard!" Ha...ha...yeah, guess what, just because they look flat...those are still my boobs you're groping, dear...

All in all, it was a fun evening with fun friends! I just wish I could have met a real host to take a picture with in my host outfit...

China Town Nikuman Tour

Today I went to Yokohama's China Town so I could eat nikuman! If you don't know, "nikuman" are Chinese steamed buns filled with stuff (not neccessarily "niku"--meat). I really love nikuman, and you can get them anytime here since they are at most convenience stores. But in Chinatown, they have the biggest, tastiest, and strangest varieties available!

The first one I ate was the "panda-man." No, it isn't filled with panda meat, it is just a normal, pork-filled bun, but it is shaped like a panda (which means you pay 50 yen more). After I bought it, I asked the guy to take my picture, and based on the fact that he didn't even bat an eye at my request, he must get that a lot. It is pretty adorable...mmmmm, panda.

Next I tried one called 美美 "Mei Mei" using the kanji for "beautiful" twice in a row. I got it because it is probably the strangest nikuman I have ever seen, black dough on the outside, with a layer of pink dough inside, and the filling was a mix a bunch of stuff including squide and rice noodles. Also, it was HUGE!

Then I had what I think was my favorite, the momo-man (momo=peach). Not only is it filled with delicious, sweet peach, it looks like one too!

I also ate a ebi-chili (shrimp chili) "dog." Yeah, instead of being round like normal, it was oblong, like a hot dog, i guess...so yeah, the name is not very appealing, but it was tasty. I didn't take a picture though, because it was not that exciting looking. Lastly, I had a mochi-an-man-- sweet bean paste and mochi inside! I was pretty full though, so I decided to take it home to eat later. "Later" turned out to be about half and hour, after I got home and reheated it the microwave...

So, I tried five different varieties, but there are still so many delicious looking nikuman I want to sample! Good thing I only live about 10 minutes by train from China Town!

Geek Watching

I went to Akihabara, which is the otaku ("Geek") capital of Japan to do some geek watching. I love people watching, and Akiba is one of the best places, because you can see some of the strangest stuff, ever! Unfortunately, I don't have any geek pictures, because they move too fast to be discretely captured on film... However, I do have pictures of some of the craziest stuff you can buy in Japan...

"Juicy Mango?" Yeah, those are deffinately boobs...don't even try to pretend otherwise, little cartoon guy. You better believe I tried to win some, but I suck at UFO catcher (skill crane game).

"Hope on a Rope" Jesus-shaped soap.

A "Black Paint" mask, so you can be a black dude for Halloween! Um...I'm feeling a little uncomfortable, Japan.

Wow, 100yen stores really do sell EVERYTHING...I think I'm starting to feel uncomfortable again...

Craft Beer Fest

Who knew there were microbrews in Japan?

Went to the 2nd annual Craft Beer Fest in Asakusa today. The admission ticket got us 8 beer tastings and a souvenir glass! The size of the tasting varied by who poured it for you. I found that if a girl poured it, they weren't very generous, but guys gave me A LOT. I don't know why though, I wasn't wearing a low-cut shirt or anything...maybe it was the "white girl bonus." We were also able to get a bunch of extra tickets by asking drunk japanese people who couldn't use all of theirs, finding them abandoned on a table, or just asking for more at the very end when they were cleaning up. One older lady didn't have any tickets left, but she gave us each a cube of individually wrapped cheese (mine was ham flavored) and a mini croissant. So, all in all, a good Sunday afternoon.

Oh, Japan.

I have Fridays off (but I have to work Saturday...) so today I went to Shibuya for the first time since I came back. And, I was reminded why I love Japan so much...because there is always so much weird shit to see!

While I was waiting to meet my friend, at the Hachiko statue, I passed the time by watching the two host-wannabe guys who were going around and trying to drum up some customers by trying to chat up every young woman there (except for the foreigners of course :( ). They even tried to talk to the guys cross-dressing as a Sweet Lolita in pink (I guess she fooled them).

Then, once my friend arrived, we went to a caffe for a snack and while we were there, a guy sporting a hard on walked in...yeah, he totally had a boner and he just came in and sat down...I don't think he even ordered anything. (he was Japanese btw so off course he was also wearing super-tight pants) He sat down at the counter by the window and, instead of trying to hide his erection under the counter, he sat akwardly sideways and started stroking himself...all the while absentmindedly checking his cell phone. But, my friend pointed out later, he wasn't even doing it in a normal way...as she said, "he was petting it like you do a puppy," even gazing affectionately at it. He did seem pretty out of it, so maybe he was actually mentally handicapped and thought there really was a cute little puppy sitting on his lap...but, I really doubt it. Just an exhibitionist in Japan, where it is so normal to take your clothes off in public, that it is more exciting to just keep them on-- while sporting a boner of course.

Needless to say, when boner guy moved to the table next to us, we decided to spend some time just walking around Shibuya. We went to Shibuya 109, a shopping mall that is great for skanky people watching, where we saw store clerk who was wearing his bright blue and orange hawaiin flower print tighty-whities poking out the top of his jeans, the way some guys where their boxers...yeah, not cool dude--FYI, no one wants to know that you wear those.

So, after a fun afternoon, I headed back on the train, where I ran into one of those "densha-otaku" (train super-fans). He had his camera and was taking pictures of every part of the train--first from outside, then the train's identification number, then the doors, seats, and a picture as our train passed an on coming one. Okay, whatever guy...I really don't wanna know what you plan to do with those pictures...

So, yeah, a very eventfull day...sorry I don't have any pictures (I know everyone wants to see boner guy...)

Finally...Some Good Old-Fashioned Drankin'

So, I started work the other day...and so far it has been good. I am just going with the teacher I will be replacing to observe her classes and meet the students, and learn how the school runs. On some days I don't have to be in until late afternoon so, since we didn't leave for work until 3pm yesterday, I took a walk around the area I am staying right now (Higashi-Kanagawa). There is a really big temple about 5 minutes away, so I explored that.

After work was more exciting though. I met up with friends from the punk club I was in when I studied abroad. One of the guys invited me, but didn't tell the others, so when I showed up at they were super suprised and excited! They had also been drinking since 4pm, and I came a little after 8, so that could of been part of the reason they were so loud. It was really awesome though! It was so much fun to see them again (though there were some people that weren't there) and cool to go back to Hiyoshi again (I used to live nearby, so I know the area well).

The best part of the evening had to be when some of the guys decided to climb on top of the big silver ball in Hiyoshi station...

The things you can get away with when you are drunk in Japan...well done guys.

Back at Last!

I arrived at 5:30pm on Saturday, Sept. 22 (Japan time).



I stayed at my friends' apartment for Saturday and Sunday night, and had a great time seeing them for the first time in a year!



So far I have eaten some "soup-curry," which was a very interesting concept and, though a little odd, the combo of hardboiled egg, potato, fresh tomato, green beans, baby corn, and beef ravioli in a spicy broth was tasty. I also had some of Japan's lovely "Italian" food, including pumpkin gnocchi, and cheese and mochi pizza (we asked them not to put the mayonaise on top).



I also tried the new fall flavor of "swirkle" at Tully's (coffee shop): Cassis Orange--I highly recomend it! While Erin tried their new "salty caramel latte."

Mmmmm...these were so good we just kept drinking them! Well, actually we just kept pulling out paper ones we got at the at the coffee place and "drinking" from it.











I start my job tomorrow, so there may or may not be anything interesting for me to write about...we'll see.


Sorry this post is so lame, but I have only been here 3 days, and don't have any funny stories yet.


By the way...it is almost 6pm on Monday the 24th, so if you are reading this in the US, it is like I am talking to you from the FUTURE!!!!