In Japan there are koban, or "police boxes" scattered throughout every district. I call them "direction boxes" because pretty much the only thing the police officers stationed there do is give directions to people. In fact, a lot of times if you go to a police box in a quiet area, there may not actually be anyone there...or there may be a police officer sleeping inside.
A couple of weekends ago, Erin and I walked to Shibuya after we pulled our first "free hugs...?" gag (see previous post). We decided that we didn't want to go home yet, so we wanted to go somewhere warm where we could do some people watching. I suggested Mister Donuts, because not only could we drink coffee and eat delicious donuts, but they usually have a nice big window looking out on the street that is perfect for watching passersby. Unfortunately, we didn't know where or even if there was one in Shibuya, so Erin "dared" me to ask at the koban. It wasn't much of a dare, because I have asked directions to much crazier things than that before, so of course I accepted.
When we got to the nearest direction box, there were two officers standing outside--a big one, and a little one. So, I asked the big one if there was a Mister Donuts nearby. He said there wasn't one in Shibuya, but there was an "And On And" which is owned by Mister Donuts but is a "high-end donut cafe," which means the donuts are super fancey (like their green tea ginger donut filled with red bean paste that runs about 300yen) and the atmosphere is more sophisticated. Yes, a sophisticated donut shop...of course it can only be found in Japan...(to the best of my knowledge). So, he gave us very detailed directions while indicating where to go on a map, while the whole time the little cop was nodding and gesturing randomly at the same map...he must have been in training with big cop to learn how to give directions. Anyway, once he finished the directions he told me my Japanese was very good, then asked where we were from. Seeing the perfect opportunity to perform a little guerilla manzai, I told him I was from a "foreign country." (Since our act is called "Gaijin Dantai" or "Group of Foreigners," if anyone asks us where we are from we only say we are from "gaikoku" or "foreign country," so they just get really confused and keep asking the question in different ways, thinking we don't understand what they are asking.)
So, the conversation went something like this:
Big Cop: Your Japanese is very good, where are you from?
Me: Foreign Country.
Big Cop: Yeah, but which country?
Me: A country overseas.
Big Cop: No, but, which one specifically?
Me: The one that is abroad.
Little Cop: (in English) Where you from?
Erin: (in English) Foreign country.
*Big Cop and Little Cop look at eachother*
Big Cop: (to Little Cop) Uh, that means "foreign country," right?
Little Cop: Oh, I see, you don't want to tell us?
Me: (*oh shit! now he is gonna think we are terrorists or something!) Ah, actually the two of us perform manzai, and that is part of our act...we're called "Gaijin Dantai."
Big and Little Cops: Wow, that's cool!
We then talk with them a little longer about our act, thank them for the directions, and go on our way...without ever telling them where we are actually from.
So,
1. As Erin put it, "we totally asked the popo where to get donuts"
and
2. We deffinately gave them legitimate reason to ask to see our registration papers and/or detain us for questioning by refusing to say where we are from, but they just thought it was funny.
So, thanks nice Shibuya police officers with a sense of humor...I will deffinately use your direction box again next time I need to find a store or restaurant.
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