One Pound Gospel Update

So, I have gotten several requests keep updating about the boxer/nun tv drama...I guess I am not the only one who appreciates ridiculous things.

This week's episode centered around Sister Maria's feelings of jealousy when she saw the boxer receiving Valentine's Day chocolate from another girl. Now, I should note that in Japan only girls give choco on V-Day...there is a sepparate holiday on March 14th called "White Day," when guys give a gift in return. So, anyway, Sister Maria was going to give some choco to the boxer, but saw him with the other girl and got mad. She realized that she was jealous because she does like him after all, no matter how much she prays to god. When she asks the Mother Superior what she should do, the old woman replies that she should do whatever makes her happiest, either stay in the convent, or leave and get married to him, adding that it is OK for her to feel confused because even she (Mother Superior) doesn't know what she would do if a hot guy that was her type showed up. Um, yeah, OK, I don't think nun's usually have a "type," unless of course you count Jesus...

But then, the Mother Superior goes to talk to the boxer and tells him that Sister Maria was an orphan who grew up in the church's orphanage and that she decided to become a nun because her dream is to bring peace to the world. Therefore, if she has to leave the convent, she would lose her dream and be sad. Yeah, because ONLY nuns can do charity work... After hearing this, the boxer decides that if he really loves her, he must give her up. He goes to the church while she is praying and, hiding in the back, pretends to be God's voice telling her not to give up her life as a nun. But, she doesn't listen and confesses her love to him instead, and he does the same to her.

So, yeah, happy ending, right? Except, the drama is only half-way done, and according to the preview for next week, she is still a nun...so I guess just because you start dating some guy, doesn't neccessarily mean you get kicked out of the nunnery.

Also, check out the newly added "Guerilla Manzai: Free Hugs...?" videos I have put on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/user/Hisackt27
And photos from our performance at the Canadian Ambassador's Christmas party:
http://gaijindantai.blogspot.com/
(site in Japanese)

More Ridiculousness

This evening, I was just watching the news on TV. Now, I should preface this story by mentioning that Japan is super interesting in the race between Obama and Clinton...only Obama and Clinton...not in the rest of the democrats... and deffinately not in any of the republicans... So, they sent a reporter to the US and gave him the sole purpose of asking Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton what they thought of Japan. They didn't set up an interview or attend a press conference...no, they had this guy stand in the crowd at various campaign speeches and shout his question as the candidates passed by. First, he was lucky enough to get close enough to Obama for his question--"What do you think of Japan?" to be heard, and Barack replied, "I love Japan." Well you can image how absolutely ecstatic everyone in the studio was when they heard that... "Oh my GOD!!! Barrack Obama loves Japan!!!!!! Oh my GOOOOOOODDDDDD," and the like. Next, he tried to ask Hillary as she walked passed and when she was close enough he shoutd out: "Mam, what is your expression of Japan?" No, that is not a typo, he actually said, "expression." Awesome. You send a correspondant with such poor English that he mixes up "expression" and "impression" to talk to, or rather shout at, two of the most high-profile people in the world...excellent job. Incidentally, Clinton's answer was "good." But, to be honest it was so crowded and noisy, and since his question really didn't make any sense, there is a pretty good chance that she was actually responding to a completely different person. But, that didn't stop the news from calling it a "miracle," yes, litereally, they said "Oh my God, a miracle occured! He was able to ask both Obama and Clinton if they like Japan, and both of them said they like Japan...it was a miracle!" And, I don't think I need to point out the ridiculousness of this entire situation.

*Update*
So, the most recent development in "One Pound Gospel" is: another man fell in love with Sister Angela, the nun that the main character is in love with, and this guy was trying to get her quit being a nun and marry him. So, apparently in Japan, nunneries are really just places for women to hang out, until they find the right man and leave to get married...just like any other job for women. But don't worry, by the end of the episode Sister Angela realized that in fact she actually DOES like the boxer...and confessed her love to him. Awesome...maybe I should enter a Japanese nunnery...if I do, I may actually be able to get a date.

Japan = Ridiculous

I have gotten several requests to update more often...but as usual, I am extremely lazy. Plus, I finally bought a TV and DVD player, which, after going through months of TV withdrawal, I am watching pretty much constantly. (Gotta keep that listening comprehension up, right? It helps me learn more Japanese, so really I have an excuse...right?)

At any rate, nothing super interesting is going on with me right now, so instead I would just like to introduce some of the current ridiculousness going on in Japan's pop culture right now...

First of all, let's see what is going on in the world of "Johnny's Juniors." If you have never heard me talk about them before, let me explain. In Japan, there is a huge entertainment agency that basically supplies all the male idols and manufactures boy bands, called Johnny's Entertainment. It is run by a man named Johnny (yes, he is Japanese despite his name) who is most deffinately a homosexual pedophile. Boys can try out around age 10 and if the get in, by proving their dance/acrobatic/musical abilities, they are groomed to become male idols. First of all, they must work as back-up dancers for all ready established bands, but if they do well enough (and possiby perform some "favors" for Johnny...?) they are put into a band of their own. These bands become hugely popular and, unlike female idols who have a shelf life of about 24 years old, as long as they remain popular, they will continue. The most well know and liked Johnny's band, SMAP, which stands for "Sports and Music Assemble People,"debuted in 1991 and is still going strong, releasing single after single and hosting their own variety show, SMAPxSMAP (which I happen to be a fan of). Individual members also have there own shows and star in many dramas as well as appearing on countless other shows.

One of the requirements for a Johnny's band seems to be that they need to have a completely ridiculous name. Other Johnny's include NEWS ("North, East, West, South"), KAT-TUN (a combo of the first letter of each members' family name), and Kinki Kids (Kinki is a region in Japan...but it is still pretty hilarious). Recently, a new band was formed that has the most ridiculous name yet: "Hey! Say! JUMP" Their name is a pun because "Heisei" is the current Japanese era name and all of the members were born in this era. (The first year of Heisei was 1989. There are 5 older members, born in '90 and '91...and 5 younger members, born in '93 and '95...so the youngest member is TWELVE YEARS OLD...sounds like child abuse if you ask me...). Anyway, just when you thought is could not get any more ridiculous: JUMP is and acronym for "Johnny's Ultra Music Power." Oh yes, and the five older members form a sub-group called "Hey! Say! BEST," which of course is an acronym for: Boys Excellent Select Team. Heres and acronym for you Johnny: RIDICULOUS! (OK...not really an acronym...but seriously, your name is Johnny...you could at least pretend to know English...)

Even more recently, a debut single has been released by a group called "Matchy with Question?" Gotta love that the name itself IS a question. This group is a come-back for a former Johnny's idol named Masahiko, or "Matchy" for short and he is grouped together with a bunch of young guys who "play instruments" (Johnny's are not legitimate musicians, it is all for show). He was born in 1964...so there you go, you are never too old to be in a boy band in Japan...good for him, I guess. But really, Matchy...I have a question (?) for you: don't you think you are a little too mature to be in a "boy" band? Don't you feel just a little bit, um, RIDICULOUS?


Lastly, I would just like to mention that the new drama season has started on TV. Now, I love ridiculous Japanese dramas, but I have found one that is just too ridiculous even for me. Based on the comic of the same name, "One Pound Gospel" is a show about a boy who grows up in an orphanage and then becomes a boxer. The first thing that is ridiculous about this live-action version is that the main character is played by Kamenashi Kazuya (a Johnny's of course) who, I am absolutly sure, I could take in a fight. There is no way anyone could ever believe this guy could possibly be a boxer...but, I suppose being able to watch his sweat glistened body prance around in nothing but boxing shorts makes people willing to suspend belief on this point. Although normally this would be enough to make me want to watch the show, it gets even more ridiculous. The main character is also in love with a young nun that works with the orphans...and he is constantly trying to get her to date him. OK. Japan. Seriously, I know less than 1% of your population is Christian, but do you even understand what a nun IS? No! She canNOT date him, it is never going to happen. She is a NUN! WTF!? Plus, if he grew up in the orphanage, you would assume they made him go to church and would have learned that nuns do not go on dates. I should point out that this is not the first time I have seen a Japanese program where a character is in love with a nun. In one episode of the anime Sailor Moon, Artemis--a white, talking cat--falls in love with a human nun. So, I guess compared to that F-ed up scenario, One Pound Gospel really isn't that ridiculous after all.

I don't believe he could be a boxer...but I do believe he looks good without a top...

Guerilla Manzai: Performing at the Police Box

In Japan there are koban, or "police boxes" scattered throughout every district. I call them "direction boxes" because pretty much the only thing the police officers stationed there do is give directions to people. In fact, a lot of times if you go to a police box in a quiet area, there may not actually be anyone there...or there may be a police officer sleeping inside.

A couple of weekends ago, Erin and I walked to Shibuya after we pulled our first "free hugs...?" gag (see previous post). We decided that we didn't want to go home yet, so we wanted to go somewhere warm where we could do some people watching. I suggested Mister Donuts, because not only could we drink coffee and eat delicious donuts, but they usually have a nice big window looking out on the street that is perfect for watching passersby. Unfortunately, we didn't know where or even if there was one in Shibuya, so Erin "dared" me to ask at the koban. It wasn't much of a dare, because I have asked directions to much crazier things than that before, so of course I accepted.

When we got to the nearest direction box, there were two officers standing outside--a big one, and a little one. So, I asked the big one if there was a Mister Donuts nearby. He said there wasn't one in Shibuya, but there was an "And On And" which is owned by Mister Donuts but is a "high-end donut cafe," which means the donuts are super fancey (like their green tea ginger donut filled with red bean paste that runs about 300yen) and the atmosphere is more sophisticated. Yes, a sophisticated donut shop...of course it can only be found in Japan...(to the best of my knowledge). So, he gave us very detailed directions while indicating where to go on a map, while the whole time the little cop was nodding and gesturing randomly at the same map...he must have been in training with big cop to learn how to give directions. Anyway, once he finished the directions he told me my Japanese was very good, then asked where we were from. Seeing the perfect opportunity to perform a little guerilla manzai, I told him I was from a "foreign country." (Since our act is called "Gaijin Dantai" or "Group of Foreigners," if anyone asks us where we are from we only say we are from "gaikoku" or "foreign country," so they just get really confused and keep asking the question in different ways, thinking we don't understand what they are asking.)

So, the conversation went something like this:
Big Cop: Your Japanese is very good, where are you from?
Me: Foreign Country.
Big Cop: Yeah, but which country?
Me: A country overseas.
Big Cop: No, but, which one specifically?
Me: The one that is abroad.
Little Cop: (in English) Where you from?
Erin: (in English) Foreign country.
*Big Cop and Little Cop look at eachother*
Big Cop: (to Little Cop) Uh, that means "foreign country," right?
Little Cop: Oh, I see, you don't want to tell us?
Me: (*oh shit! now he is gonna think we are terrorists or something!) Ah, actually the two of us perform manzai, and that is part of our act...we're called "Gaijin Dantai."
Big and Little Cops: Wow, that's cool!

We then talk with them a little longer about our act, thank them for the directions, and go on our way...without ever telling them where we are actually from.

So,
1. As Erin put it, "we totally asked the popo where to get donuts"
and
2. We deffinately gave them legitimate reason to ask to see our registration papers and/or detain us for questioning by refusing to say where we are from, but they just thought it was funny.

So, thanks nice Shibuya police officers with a sense of humor...I will deffinately use your direction box again next time I need to find a store or restaurant.

Sarah Takes Forever to Update Her Blog

Finally, a new post! I could say it is because I have been so busy that I haven't had any time to make updates at all, which is partially true...but mainly I am just lazy.

Recently I have been doing a lot of manzai (Japanese comedy) with my friend Erin in our duo called "Gaijin Dantai" ('group of foreigners'). So far we have performed at Design Festa--a independent art festival--where we drew big crowds for all of our 5 shows throughout the day. Then, we performed at the Keio University school festival. Keio is where both Erin and I studied abroad in the past and we were invited because some of my friends from the punk rock club I joined while I was there were doing a "movie cafe" and needed performances, so they asked us to do it. It was super fun and was nice to perform for friends and other people around our same age. For more info (in Japanese) as well as a bunch of pictures from these performances, please visit Gaijin Dantai's official blog: http://gaijindantai.blogspot.com/
We also have a group on FaceBook called "Gaijin Dantai Fan Club" which has information in English and a ton more pictures.

What has been even more fun than our recent performances, though, has been our "Guerilla Manzai." Over the past couple of weeks, we have been taking our show on the road...by which I mean we have been randomly doing comedy stuff while we are out shopping/hanging out around Tokyo.

First, have you heard of people holding "Free Hugs" signs in busy cities all over the world? Well, they do it in Tokyo too, so we came up with a great bit using those people (don't you dare steal our idea either!) I go up to someone holding the "Free Hugs" sign and say "Wow, free hugs? Yaaaaaaaay!" and hug them. Then, I reach into my pocket and pull out my sign, which reads, "Hugs 500¥" Yeah, awesome, I know. So far we haven't gotten any money...but I was able to haggle the price of a shirt at the Yoyogi flea market down from 200 yen to 100 yen plus a hug. (I think the guy selling the shirt got the better deal) If you want to see me in action, watch the low-quality video that Erin took with her camera and put up on Youtube:

I have to go now, because Erin and I are performing for the Canadian Ambassador tonight, but stay tuned for more tales of Guerilla Manzai...next time: Sarah tries to get deported by refusing to tell police what country she is from.

Random Funny Stuff

I have had several interesting encounters lately...

So, I went to Harajuku last Saturday. I was really excited, because Harajuku is deffinately one of my favorite places in Japan...if you have been there or seen pictures and know how much I love people watching, goth, punk, and shopping, then you understand why. Even though I didn't buy anything other than a few things from the 100yen shop, I had a great time. But...I saw some members of a visual kei indie band handing out flyers and CDs, so of course I wanted one. There were two guys-- one was talking to a couple of girls and giving them CDs, and the other was dressed in a bunny suit and holding the flyers. So, I went up to bunny guy and asked (in Japanese) if I could have a flyer...he said yes as he was turning to look at me and started to hand out to me, but stopped short when he saw that I was a foreigner...then as I tried to take the flyer, he kept holding it and I had to yank it out of his hands! So, yeah, FYI: when you are a band that no one has ever heard of and most Japanese people would never think of listening to or going to see, and someone actually shows interest and ASKS you for a flyer...you better give them one! I mean, WTF? So, I didn't get a CD, but I do have a flyer/poster:

OK, so, there first problem is that their name is "Mega Mega Heart." Also, just so you know guys...visual kei bands are supposed to be good looking and wear awesome costumes...You guys have the fattest, ugliest guy dressed as a girl? And, what is with the plastic, green eyelashes, dude? (that was the guy that I took the flyer from) Oh, and the guy with orange hair is totally wearing a tube top...under a vest...

OK, so on the reverse side, each member is "posing" with one syllable from the word "arigatou" ('thank you') with a montage of live pictures in the background. So, we have:

1. Blond Guy giving birth to the 'a'


2. Fat Guy dressed as chick trying to look cute, but really just looking frightened with 'ri'


3. Host-looking Guy doing God-knows-what kind of pose, shoeless, with 'ga'


4. Orange-hair Guy wearing tube-top and vest, in some sort of cat/Japanese ghost pose with 'to'


5. And, Hideous Green Eyelash Guy doing...????...while looking off camera, oh, and he is also wearing yellow crocs and a furry green tube-top under a pleather yellow vest, with 'u'

So what have we learned? Basically, if you aren't willing to even give me a flyer, not only am I not going to your show, but I am going to make fun of you mercilessly. Also, I think this poster is amazing...I just can't believe how lame they are, while they are thinking they are super hot. I totally have this hanging on my wall right now. It makes me smile everytime I look at it.

OK...funny episode #2: Today in one of my classes, when I asked a 10 year old boy, "What do you like to eat?" he pointed at me and said, "Sarah!" ....um, I guess I can understand why you would say that...I mean, I am pretty awesome...but, sorry kid, it is never gonna happen--you are only 10 years old, and I'm not really into younger guys.

Also, I finally took a picture of a Lotteria sign:

Home of the "straight burger," in case you are tired of all those gay burgers you have been eating lately...

That's all for now!

Canadian Embassy Halloween Bash

Friday the 26th was the Canadian Embassy's Halloween party! I love the fact that since I have friends that live/work there, I have been to the Canadian Embassy countless times, but have yet to even find where the American one is...Although I'm sure our friendly neighbors to the north would help me out if I got into any sort of trouble, haha.


Anyway...It was a very interesting mix of party-goers, comprised mainly of Candians who work at the embassy, and Japanese women dressed as sexy-cats, sexy-witches, or sexy-devils looking to hook a rich Canadian ambassador or something. There was also live music by the embassy's own Beatles cover band, the "Boobie Brothers" (yay for old Japanese men singing Beatles songs!)

My room-mate and my friend Toshi also came with me so they could experience what a "North American Halloween Party" is like, or at least what a Halloween party would be like if it included the Japanese Beatles and 100 Japanese women in lame cat/witch/devil costumes.

I, by the way, dressed as a host...yes, now that I actually own a suit, the costume I have been wanting to do since my freshman year of college has finally been realized!

I was quite proud of how hosty I was able to make my hair (tons of nasty guy hair gel for hold, pomade for the greasy look, and "super hard" hairspray to keep it in place). I was also proud of how well I strapped my boobs down...it totally looked like I had pecs, and I could unbutton down to the third button, just like a real host!

I was so convincing, I kept getting stared at by the drunk cat/witch/devil chicks and I'm pretty sure they thought I was just some host who came to the party. Which, when you think about it doesn't make sense since it was a Halloween party, any host who came still dressed as a host would be a pretty lame host...but I guess they also think costume= skanky top and shorts and some cat ears.

My room-mate was also really impressed by how I managed to flatten my chest...she had a good time feeling me up, and saying "wow, so hard!" Ha...ha...yeah, guess what, just because they look flat...those are still my boobs you're groping, dear...

All in all, it was a fun evening with fun friends! I just wish I could have met a real host to take a picture with in my host outfit...