I'm In a Commercial!!!

Yes, just like the title says, I got a job to be in a CM (thats what we call commercials in Japan). The filming was on a Wednesday, but since I was on sick leave for work, I was able to do it. That's right, having mono wasn't gonna stop me from getting on TV, making $300 and a bunch of connections! (luckily I didn't have any lines...cuz my throat was pretty bad)

To preface the events of the day, I should mention that this ad is in English, because it is for a travel agency that is aimed at foreigners living in Japan...but it was written, directed, and filmed by Japanese people...yes, there will be ridiculousness.

The day of the shoot started with me getting up at 5am because I had to travel for over an hour to get to the salon they were using for the 8am hair/make-up call. The woman who did my make-up kept say, "wow, you are white" "you are so white" "your skin is really white." So, finally I had had enough and said, "Well, I am caucasian." Which, in Japanese is literally the kanji for "white" and "person." She didn't seem to get the joke though, and said, "yeah, us Japanese are yellow, right?" Woah! I DID NOT say that! I was talking about my own race only...no harm there...OK? She also decided that my carefully plucked eyebrows were no good, and drew on big, brown ones...apparently foreigners have big bushy eyebrows. Also, apparently, foreigners need big, Laura Bush-esque hairdooz.

Next, the producer, or whoever he was (no one actually introduced me to anyone...) asked to see the clothing I had brought with (we could wear our own) and then proceeded to ask the other japanese people, "Which one will make her look most like a foreigner?" Um...how about you let the foreigner decide what the foreigner will wear? If you dress me up like your Japanese idea of what a "foreigner" should look like...yeah, not gonna appeal to actual foreigners. Finally, they decided what I was wearing was the best (yeah, that is why I was wearing it, thanks.)

After everyone (the rest of the cast included a Canadian guy, Scottish guy (named Scott), Chinese guy, and an African-American girl...yep I can guess why she got the part with the line and not me...they love those "exotic black people"...oh Japan, not realizing how racist you are...)was gathered and made-up, we headed to the travel agency's office in Kabukicho...hmmm...(that would be the red-light district) to film the end of the CM when we all go to the travel agency to decide where we want to go on our trip.

Next, it was time for lunch, and guess where they brought us? The HardRock Cafe...um, I guess foreigners who live in Japan love American pop culture? I ordered an overpriced blue cheese burger, but could only manage to choke done a fourth of it (on account of the mono) but luckily, since HR is "American style," I could take the rest home, and a week later, could finally finish it off...that's right nothing is gonna stop me from eating the $18 burger I got for free!

Then, it was time to film the main part of the CM at an izakaya. The premise of the CM is "5 foreigners are at an izakaya, arguing about whose country is the best." So, the other American was supposed to be from California, the Canadian was supposed to be French (though he was NOT French-Canadian), and the Chinese guy was supposed to be Chinese--what a stretch. I felt kinda bad for the Chinese guy though, because his line was in English, but he does NOT speak English...at least that made his accent believable; unlike the "French" accent. Now, while the really fake French accent at the right place and time can be hilarious...this guy just couldn't do a legitimate accent, and as a result, every French person who sees this CM and hears: "I like-a zee Japoneze food-o, but-a Furenchhh iz-a zee best-a" is going to be extremely offended and boycott the travel agency. (FYI Japan: French people don't like to be made fun of.)

Not that I have stellar acting skills by any means, but anyone who has seen a Japanese TV show or movie with a foreign "actor" in it (and these people do call themselves "actors") knows the calliber of talent available here. (Although I do admit having a legitimately talented actor for a sister does tend to make me a bit harsh when it comes to judging others' acting ability) Basically just think of all the "theater" kids you knew in high school and you know what the foreign actors in Japan are like.

Although I didn't have a line, I did have my own part: they filmed me eating...or as they said, "we want to film your eating face." Fabulous...the camera already adds 10 pounds, now everyone is gonna see me stuffing my face...just like the fat foreigner I am... Anyway, I had to "take really big bite" of piping-hot spring onion ("two at a time is better") and chew with a seductive smile on my face (the only part they were filming was my mouth). By the 4th take, my eyes were watering from the boiling liquid on my swollen tonsils, and they decided they had a take they could use. OK...ever heard of using prop food? It doesn't actually have to be hot! You can cool it down first, OK? But, on the other hand the beer was real too and they actually let us drink it, so I guess ya win some ya lose some.

Finally, after everyone had filmed there individual part, it was time for the climax of the CM...when we all jump up and start screaming at each other (cuz that is what foreigners do when they have a disagreement). There are actually 2 versions--one were we argue about what country has the best food and one where we argue about what city is the best...so, the CM will go something like this:

Version 1

Fake French Accent: I like Japanese food, but French is the best.

Californian: What are you talking about (extremely over-done eye-roll) burgers are the BEST.

Chinese dude: No way! Chinese food is number one!

He slams down his beer and we all jump up and start yelling.

Version 2

Fake French Accent: I like Tokyo, but Paris is the best.

Californian: What are you talking about (extremely over-done eye-roll) New York is the BEST. (*wait a minute, I thought you were from California!?)

Chinese dude: No way! Beijing is number one!

(*Go Beijing Olympics 2008!!! Chinese people who see this will deffinately use the travel agency)

He slams down his beer and we all jump up and start yelling.

Since I didn't have an individual line, I decided I would be from Finland, so when we were all arguing I just kept saying, "You guys don't know anything, Finland is the best!"

All in all it was a good experience AND I made some $$. Also, the Scottish guy who was the other extra and I got along really well, and we spent our down time talking about what a douche Fake French guy was and how crazy all the Japanese staff were. He was also kind enough to send me this behind-the-scenes photo he took of me and the director, who is telling me to put super hot onions in my mouth.

The ad will be playing on CNN Japan, which is a cable channel, which means I don't get it. But, I will see if I can get a copy somehow, and try to post it in the future.